People who are in love behave similarly to people suffering from mental disorders. – unknown psychological facts.
I have this colleague who has been telling me he wishes to marry and start a family for the longest time I had known him. After hearing him griped on his still single status for almost two years, he suddenly made this startling proposal last week: what if we, you and I, just simply get married to each other? To which, I simply replied, “whaaaaaaaaaat!?” and shot him a horrified and shocked look, signalling: out of question! That was the easiest rejection I have ever made.
After my initial shock subsided, I am geniunely surprised at him even considering me as potantial partner because I have always been bullying him at workplace: I have lost count how many times I rolled my eyes at him, openly chided him for being incompetent and ocassionally threw sarcastic remarks at him (yes, I can be mean and love to keep people at a distance with my sarcasm. I am simply not known to be a warm person). But I am not cynical about love. I have friends who are in love with their partners and I am perfectly fine with that. After a failed marriage, my idea of love has changed. Life is too short to settle. I would like a passionate affair with the one whom I feel deserves my attention, to be with the one who makes me feel passion for life, the one supports me in every way, including my unexplainable urge to keep my 8-year-old cat pillow in my bed at all times. In fact, I have no intention to get married. Ever. Because I do not wish to be distracted, get drunk on love and become mentally impaired like those suffering from mental disorders. Most importantly, I put my career first. I love my life even more when I have reasons to wake up in the morning, which translates to work that fulfills my hunger for my purpose. And being in tourism or in love with anyone who couldn’t support my love for creating arts, couldn’t entice me to jump out of my warm toasty bed in the mornings nor keep myself up late into the nights. That’s when I realized one truth: your life won’t change until you take action. Action is the foundational key to all success. Knowing is NOT doing.
Like my friend who griped on and on of his single status, I have been telling anyone who have ears in the past two years of my wish to change career. Be your own boss and start bullying others, said my best friend, who often poked fun of my strong character in pushing people to get what I want. She reasoned that since I can’t change myself to be submissive and be the perfect employee (even though I’ve gotten romantically dumped once for not being docile enough and yet, I still couldn’t will myself to be less strong-willed), I should perhaps simply work for myself. But to become what? Since I couldn’t make up my mind, I have been stuck in tourism, running in circles for the past two years without any significant change. Neither did I see any growth, career wise or financially. It was starting to take a toll onto me. So when the tourism crisis hit Turkey the past year, I consider it a blessing in disguise, because only then it forces me to think more creatively. And I picked up my first love once again: arts.
Start by building. Pick one project and do whatever you have to do to ship it out. If you want to write a book, start by writing a post at least once a week, (I have been writing for the past six years, so now I have tons of materials to pick and compile into a book). If you want to become an artist, start by creating drawings and pick up that paint brush, (I went a step further by sharing my paintings on all my social media and created a public instagram which created awareness for my works. I have improved a lot since). If you want to be known for your handicrafts, start by getting those yarns and crochet something, anything that catches your eye. (I picked up my needles again to create handmade toys and bags because I was too broke to buy presents for all the birthdays my son had to attend every week). Anyone can do it. The best part is, it created a lot of attention and generated even more social invites for my son from mothers who wish to get my handmade gifts for their children. With each birthday party my son attended, I walked out with more projects that could keep me busy this summer.
Once you start building and launching your projects, you won’t be able to stop. It is that addictive. Soon, building will become part of your identity. Even if your project fails, you will still keep at it. (I have created a partial colouring book which I had sent out to publishers but have yet to received news. Despite that failure to gain publication, I kept moving on and have already started painting projects for my friends’ bedrooms, at their requests). The steps that you take today will compound over time. All I did was picking up my pencils and started drawing again (and of course, posting up on social media helps a lot) three years ago. It helped that my efforts was met with praises and encouragement along the way. Friends and acquaintances chipped in their two-cents worth advice on how should I go on. And today I’ve gotten my first order to design and make a small gift for an upcoming birthday party for 30 children.
Build and launch your projects. Use this process to hone your craft or expand to other areas, so that when opportunity knocks, you’re ready to take full advantage of it.
Luck always favors the prepared.