Category Archives: Just Humour
One of my friends finds me amusing whenever I complained of someone in my office or ex-offices.
- That guy looks like a rat, that darting, squinting, beady eyes and hunched back.
- Who is that guy? He reminds me of marshmallow. (That one definitely caught the attention of my assistant, he basically inserted marshmallow as his surname when we made reservations for his group.)
- My boss actually put a monkey to supervise me and now he messes with my team and work.
- I am amazed my boss actually kept a pack of dogs around him, kissing his butt.
- I have a mouse as a boss, he comes darting into the office and rushing out, without anyone’s notice. Nobody even knew he was around.
- I am a horse. I have a tough life and am always on the move. I love FREEDOM!
And this friend turned to me, so what am I? (*Pause* – monkey).
A few weeks ago, I was telling a friend how every office nowadays resembles a zoo, how we are all behaving and reacting to each other like animals. It was then she told me of a different kind of Japanese horoscope that was supposedly very accurate in predicting your character – the Zoological Horoscope, in Japanese, Doubutsu Uranai.
“According to this system, each individual’s birth date is associated with one of 12 animals representing one’s personality. For instance, people classified as a monkey are said to possess innocence and popularity, while “raccoon dogs” tend to navigate their way through life smoothly. In addition, one can identify which animal types are most compatible with one’s own, as well as the chances of success with a romantic partner.
In the East, a theory based on the concepts of yin and yang and the five natural elements (fire, wood, earth, metal, and water) has traditionally been used to predict extraordinary natural occurrences and individual fortune. Zoological fortunetelling, introduced as a serial in a comic magazine, puts a modern spin on this ancient tradition with its use of interpretations based on social and behavioral psychology.
In the series the 12 animals–the lion, cheetah, pegasus, elephant, monkey, wolf, koala, tiger, black panther, sheep, raccoon dog, and fawn–are depicted as comical characters by popular cartoonist Kiriko Kubo. Their cute portrayal is one major reason for the popularity of this new fortunetelling method. A paperback volume was published on May 11, 1999, and sold over 1.5 million copies in the first six months, rising to the top of the bestseller list. One major book retailer predicts that the volume will have been the store’s “bestselling paperback of the year.””
According to Wikipedia, each person is categorized into an animal-type based on their birthdate, and based on their animal-type they are supposed to have certain personality traits. There are four categories of animals, each representing a position on two axes: self-centered vs. mindful of others and focused vs. easily distracted.
- Earth group: (self-centered, focused)
- Sun group: (self-centered, easily distracted)
- Full moon group: (mindful of others, focused)
- New moon group: (mindful of others, easily distracted)
- Tanuki (raccoon dog)
My curiosity piped, I googled it and found a website that calculates your animal by entering your birth date – Doubutsu Uranai Link.
And I turned out to be an Orange Koala. (Oh My God, I am a cuddly tiny bear!). In case you don’t know how I look like, this is ME on the left.
You are Orange Koala, who tends to give an impression of being too sensitive and nervous.
But you have thorough insight and can work efficiently.
You are cheerful and very forthright.
Your short temper may cause your advantages to diminish.
When the positive side of you comes out, you will try hard to go beyond the person you do not want to lose against.
You are suited to academic and artistic areas, where you can seek your insight.
Your soul never gets old, and you will keep coming up with new ideas.
The occupations you will be good at are those works where you can use your natural sense of creativity.
You may come up with new and innovative idea while relaxing.
This make you suited to jobs concerning plannig events or entertaining.
Areas of arts may also bring good luck.
You are precise with money, and do not spend money easily.
You will save up rather than use it, and although you don’t show, you are sensitive with interests between personal relationships.
You don’t buy things impulsively.
Socially, you are very open person.
You seem to be very sociable person, but really you are extremely cautious, and will not easily tell your true feelings.
Balancing this kind of your bilateral character will be your task.
You can fall in love many times, but once married, you will take charge of the household, and control it efficiently.
Not bad, that is exactly me. Shit, looks like I am in the wrong job, I should just become an artist and fulfill my destiny.
So, what animal are you?
I found this interesting post on http://www.speakingtree.it by Pallavi Thakur, and it is said that the door you picked says a lot about your personality and reveals your future path. Go ahead, take your pick and find out what it stands for. See if you agree with the results. As for myself, I am drawn towards Door 1 and 11. Perhaps they do have some grains of truth after all.
One day, I caught this radish trying to run away:
“Ssshhhh, let me walk away quietly. Hopefully nobody will discover my absence when they finally make up their mind to put me into that pot. So shut up and let me go. If you let me go, I will rule this world. Don’t stand in my way.”
Right, I see a great potential leader.
Today my laptop stopped working after trying to weed out some virus from it for the past week, I gave up and formatted my laptop. I figured since New Year is coming, might as well start my laptop with a brand new fresh start. Since today I have been so unproductive (been working on my laptop the whole day) and am now annoyed to infinity and beyond, I figured I might as well post up some humour for the day. There is always another tomorrow.
This wife decided to write a funny letter to tech support complaining about her husband’s behaviour towards her. And the following is the reply.
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Club 4.1.
Conversation 8/0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do no forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the application Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
First appeared in hrtwarming.com, by halocursed