Category Archives: Just Humour

Where’s My Cat?!

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What Animal Are You?

One of my friends finds me amusing whenever I complained of someone in my office or ex-offices.

  • That guy looks like a rat, that darting, squinting, beady eyes and hunched back.
  • Who is that guy? He reminds me of marshmallow. (That one definitely caught the attention of my assistant, he basically inserted marshmallow as his surname when we made reservations for his group.)
  • My boss actually put a monkey to supervise me and now he messes with my team and work.
  • I am amazed my boss actually kept a pack of dogs around him, kissing his butt.
  • I have a mouse as a boss, he comes darting into the office and rushing out, without anyone’s notice. Nobody even knew he was around.
  • I am a horse. I have a tough life and am always on the move. I love FREEDOM!

And this friend turned to me, so what am I? (*Pause* – monkey).

A few weeks ago, I was telling a friend how every office nowadays resembles a zoo, how we are all behaving and reacting to each other like animals. It was then she told me of a different kind of Japanese horoscope that was supposedly very accurate in predicting your character – the Zoological Horoscope, in Japanese, Doubutsu Uranai.

“According to this system, each individual’s birth date is associated with one of 12 animals representing one’s personality. For instance, people classified as a monkey are said to possess innocence and popularity, while “raccoon dogs” tend to navigate their way through life smoothly. In addition, one can identify which animal types are most compatible with one’s own, as well as the chances of success with a romantic partner.

In the East, a theory based on the concepts of yin and yang and the five natural elements (fire, wood, earth, metal, and water) has traditionally been used to predict extraordinary natural occurrences and individual fortune. Zoological fortunetelling, introduced as a serial in a comic magazine, puts a modern spin on this ancient tradition with its use of interpretations based on social and behavioral psychology.

In the series the 12 animals–the lion, cheetah, pegasus, elephant, monkey, wolf, koala, tiger, black panther, sheep, raccoon dog, and fawn–are depicted as comical characters by popular cartoonist Kiriko Kubo. Their cute portrayal is one major reason for the popularity of this new fortunetelling method. A paperback volume was published on May 11, 1999, and sold over 1.5 million copies in the first six months, rising to the top of the bestseller list. One major book retailer predicts that the volume will have been the store’s “bestselling paperback of the year.””

According to Wikipedia,  each person is categorized into an animal-type based on their birthdate, and based on their animal-type they are supposed to have certain personality traits. There are four categories of animals, each representing a position on two axes: self-centered vs. mindful of others and focused vs. easily distracted.

  • Earth group: (self-centered, focused)
    • Tiger
    • Wolf
    • Monkey
    • Koala
  • Sun group: (self-centered, easily distracted)
    • Pegasus
    • Elephant
    • Lion
    • Cheetah
  • Full moon group: (mindful of others, focused)
    • Sheep
    • Panther
  • New moon group: (mindful of others, easily distracted)
    • Fawn
    • Tanuki (raccoon dog)

My curiosity piped, I googled it and found a website that calculates your animal by entering your birth date – Doubutsu Uranai Link.

And I turned out to be an Orange Koala. (Oh My God, I am a cuddly tiny bear!). In case you don’t know how I look like, this is ME on the left.

You are Orange Koala, who tends to give an impression of being too sensitive and nervous.
But you have thorough insight and can work efficiently.
You are cheerful and very forthright.
Your short temper may cause your advantages to diminish.
When the positive side of you comes out, you will try hard to go beyond the person you do not want to lose against.
You are suited to academic and artistic areas, where you can seek your insight.
Your soul never gets old, and you will keep coming up with new ideas.
The occupations you will be good at are those works where you can use your natural sense of creativity.
You may come up with new and innovative idea while relaxing.
This make you suited to jobs concerning plannig events or entertaining.
Areas of arts may also bring good luck.
You are precise with money, and do not spend money easily.
You will save up rather than use it, and although you don’t show, you are sensitive with interests between personal relationships.
You don’t buy things impulsively.
Socially, you are very open person.
You seem to be very sociable person, but really you are extremely cautious, and will not easily tell your true feelings.
Balancing this kind of your bilateral character will be your task.
You can fall in love many times, but once married, you will take charge of the household, and control it efficiently.

Not bad, that is exactly me. Shit, looks like I am in the wrong job, I should just become an artist and fulfill my destiny.

So, what animal are you?

Which Door Will You Pick?

I found this interesting post on http://www.speakingtree.it by Pallavi Thakur, and it is said that the door you picked says a lot about your personality and reveals your future path. Go ahead, take your pick and find out what it stands for. See if you agree with the results. As for myself, I am drawn towards Door 1 and 11. Perhaps they do have some grains of truth after all.

Which Door Will You Open?

Meaning:

Door 1

Door 1
You are an eccentric and unique person. Some people may find you odd but you are wildly intelligent and insightful. You are extremely charming and have a way with words. You are very curious and often get yourself into tricky situations, but once you have your heart set on something there’s no stopping you. You often dream of living a life that is not expected of you, so go defy the rules and make your own magic!

Door 2

Door 2
You are longing for the simpler things in life. You are seeking quiet, solitude, and you enjoy large periods of time alone. When you are in the company of others, you prefer it to be homey – perhaps just with friends and close family. Your future is a happy one because you know what you like. You enjoy authenticity and simplicity. You are destined for a life free from the drama of others, though be careful of getting too bored.

Door 3

Door 3
You are destined for additional wealth — but you know it’s only if you put in the hard work. By choosing the door with the stairs, you are inclined to want to climb. You are seeking the nicer things in life, and you understand that to get those things, you’ll just have to work hard and take it, literally, step by step. You’re not afraid to climb to the top. In fact, you find pleasure in the journey up there!

Door 4

Door 4
If you chose this door, you are prepared to go to battle. Whether it’s a legal battle, a struggle for power, or you’re looking for a promotion at work, you have taken the steps to prepare yourself, and it will pay off. The red symbolizes power. Not even iron and sharp edges will frighten you away from claiming what is rightfully yours. You have been locked out from what you wanted for too long, but now that you have crossed the moat, you’re ready take the whole castle.

Door 5

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Door 5
Get ready for some chaos in your future — but it’s nothing you can’t handle! You’re almost more comfortable with not knowing what your next step will be. You like to keep your options open and every door is a door you’d like to step through. Things may come flying at you from all angles, so prepare for some unexpected surprises, but that’s nothing new for you. When that unexpected hurdle comes your way, just get ready to open another door.

Door 6

Door 6
You are definitely the curious type, and while “curiosity” might have killed the cat, your curiosity is going to pay off. There’s a big gap between careless and curious, and you know the difference. You know that it’s good to take unexpected risks, but you have to have some idea of the repercussions. This curiosity and sense of adventure is going to pay off. You know that one thing you’ve been thinking of doing, but haven’t been sure if it’s the right thing to do? Do it. There’s no time like the present to try it.

Door 7

Door 7
You are a humble and reserved person with a very kind soul. You are also very friendly, well-liked and everyone comes from far and wide to visit you at your humble abode. You are mostly interested in a peaceful lifestyle, but when an adventure presents itself, you dive in head first. Your life is an epic journey and you will always work your hardest and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals.

Door 8

Door 8
You are a fun individual that likes to keep things light and airy. You are all about nurturing others and appreciating the simple luxuries in life; such as your fine dishware, favorite candle or eating artisan bread from the local bakery. You most likely have a love for traveling and other cultures. You truly want the best for everyone and love creating a welcoming atmosphere. It is important to remember that if you ever feel that you need help or support, it is OK to just ask someone.

Door 9

Door 9
You are clean and simple and don’t like any frills. You might strive to have a clean and perfect existence; but is it totally worth it? Don’t you feel that there is something missing? You are all about your personal achievements and you take pride in your work or career. Although you might be on track with your career path or have a few diplomas/ certificates on your wall, you need to spend more time on developing yourself as a person. Remember… the real you. Life is all about creating balance, surrounding yourself with color and creating memorable adventures.

Door 10

Door 10
It is obvious you are a quirky individual and very interesting to the people that you let into your life. You are good at many things… a “Jack or Jill of all trades”. You are an artistic individual that expresses yourself in many ways. You can make something out of anything and are not a stranger to your local thrift shop. You can basically make vintage “new” again. It is easy to get stuck inside the house or inside your urban bubble; but remember that you have to get out and connect with nature. It is time to come down out of the clouds and get grounded!

Door 11

Door 11
You are an old soul that can be slightly dramatic. You are a very artistic person that loves to express yourself through writing, music, art or some kind of expression. You are a dichotomy; for you can be very open and friendly, yet closed and deeply private. You often have your guard up, keeping your thoughts and troubles to yourself. Although you might think that nobody will truly understand you, if you allow yourself to open up and share your feelings, you will feel so much better. Deep down you are not aright with any imperfections and you feel the need to come across as “the rock” in any group situation. Know that people are willing to share their feelings with you and want you to share your feelings with them.

Door 12

Door 12
It is very important for you to fit in and feel as though you are a major contributor in every situation. You always have things going on, for being productive is what makes you feel at ease. Your busy-ness can sometimes cause the need for you to become more aware of what is really going on around you. What does your body want you to be doing? It is alright to relax on a Monday and simply just BE. Feel free to take some time to figure out what you really love to do. Possibly try some new hobbies or activities that are out of your normal routine. Explore being you, even if that means relaxing. Life is not just about how many muffins you can make in a single batch or how many fit-it jobs you can do in one day.

Door 13

Door 13
You are a confident person with an eye for detail. You can come across as someone who is all together and exciting; yet you are just YOU on the inside. You care about your appearance and how the world sees you, yet the inside your home or car is probably a total mess! Your personality can be self destructive, for you could turn against yourself when the going gets tough. The life of a person who is a living a total contradiction… has got to be a difficult one. Remember to breathe and just relax. Life is not just about pleasing others. Truth is, the world isn’t always watching… Take time to reflect on who you truly want to be? What is it that you truly want to do?

Door 14

Door 14
You are a simple minimalist that always has important things to do. You care for others and find your time anything but your own. You surround yourself with meaningful things, for you are very sentimental. Family and friends are very important to you and you would do anything for them. Not putting yourself first has made your life a safe and complacent one. What is it that can enrich your life today? What will make your life more colorful and enjoyable? Even though life gives you labels such as a mother, father, wife, husband, teacher, manager, etc; remember that your life is still YOUR life. Take a moment to decide what you want your future to look like. It is perfectly acceptable to want wonderful things to happen to you.

Door 15

Door 15
Your fun and playful personality keeps you young and youthful. Although you are easy going, you tend to have lower self-confidence and anxiety about specific things in your life. You are usually unorganized; yet don’t even know where to start to help yourself to fix the messy problem. You are a proud individual but you need to learn to love yourself more. You need to take the time to find yourself through self expression. How are you currently expressing yourself to the world? Remember that there are people around you that can help you, but you need to let them know you are willing to receive help. Life is easier when you let people in.

Door 16

Door 16
You are a quirky person that is always making things work. You are an amazing problem solver that prides yourself on your thrifty living. You like to live an uncomplicated life and usually get by with the basics. Why would you need anything else? You are very easy to please and love doing things for others. Whether it be fixing your neighbors toilet, building a bird house for your mother out of reclaimed wood or helping your friend find a great living room set at the thrift shop; you are always there to lend a hand. Remember that life is special. It is OK to treat yourself to amazing things. You are special too!

If This Radish Could Speak, It Will Definitely Rule Our Planet.

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One day, I caught this radish trying to run away:

“Ssshhhh, let me walk away quietly. Hopefully nobody will discover my absence when they finally make up their mind to put me into that pot. So shut up and let me go. If you let me go, I will rule this world. Don’t stand in my way.”

Right, I see a great potential leader.

Best Reply To A Relationship Complain Letter

Today my laptop stopped working after trying to weed out some virus from it for the past week, I gave up and formatted my laptop. I figured since New Year is coming, might as well start my laptop with a brand new fresh start. Since today I have been so unproductive (been working on my laptop the whole day) and am now annoyed to infinity and beyond, I figured I might as well post up some humour for the day. There is always another tomorrow.

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This wife decided to write a funny letter to tech support complaining about her husband’s behaviour towards her. And the following is the reply.

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Club 4.1.

Conversation 8/0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

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Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do no forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the application Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

First appeared in hrtwarming.com, by halocursed

It Is Wrong To Use Chopsticks

Seen circulating on my Whatsapp:

Today I met an Indian friend. He said using chopsticks to eat is not right. We must use hands to eat. I listened and thought it made sense. So tonight I have decided to bring him for steamboat.
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This is how we eat steamboat.

Why Cats Are Not Washing Machine Washable

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Now we know why cats are not washing machine washable…